Buldak HOT Chicken Flavor Topokki Carbonara Topokki... ah screw it

It looks like topokki... then you stir cheese powder through it. Someone thought instant nudes were boring and went topokki, yet got stoned halfway through and made a carbonara

Don't let the cute pink hearts fool you into a sense of familiarity, this instant...dish is unlike anything you've seen before. The traditional buldak chicken has a speared rice cake and a mysteriously creepy eye-stance.

Removing the thin shrinkwrap immediately releases the loose lid and cardboard propoganda. Inside is a spicy sauce sachet, cheese powder bag, and a sealed rice cake enclosure. This lid does not seal, so be careful when removing the lava bucket from the microwave. Speaking of microwaves;

To cook the topokki, add the rice cake bag (sans silica), spicy sauce and water up to the line inside the containing cup. Place the lid on and microwave for 2 to 3.5 minutes, depending on your chef mike. Carefully remove the instructural and scalding parcel from the microwave and remove the lid, steering clear of the acid rain rising from the meal. So far we have standard-looking topokki. Now do unspeakable things and add the cheese powder to the dish. Stir in the dehydrated foot crystals and ta-da, orange brown goo with ricecakes.

If you close your eyes, you can taste the spicy, sweet and creamy flavours with nuances of explosive spicy chicken. Garlicy notes creep in but stay sidelined, like a polite Stephen, as a freight train of spicy flavour assaults the tongue. It's not anywhere near as spicy as Volcano noodles, but its not white-man mild butter chicken.

Overall: 5/10

- Decent tectured rice cake

- Cheesy mess tastes ok

- Has long hair and loves 'Saturday's with the Lads'